Somewhere.... there's a place for us.
A time and place for us
Time makes sense and there's no retcon
Blaine's the same age and Klaine goes on...
Somehow, someday, somewhere,
We'll find continuity matters...
Our headcanon won't be in tatters
sorry about that. I'm sitting her in Deepest Internet, wading through
the minefield surrounding Glee's space/time continuum, wondering if Beth
is going to end up growing up fast enough to graduate with her birthmom
and dad. Or does very rapid time warps only happen backwards in Glee?
Didn't they do the Time Warp last year? But... Blaine wasn't even on
the show then. Why is he the one that got stuck?
OK, like Jim
Cantiello, I just had to get that out of my system because... what????
I'll be good now, I promise. (Didn't Blaine ask Burt to give Kurt a sex
talk? How did he get young.... sorry, I promise I'll drop it. For
Kurt's at his locker, sprucing up a bit before class.
He wears bird brooches on his lapels because Pavrotti Lives! The
framed photo of his "mentor", the one who urged him to face his
tormentor and have COURAGE still rules his locker. Here be the shrine
to Gay Yoda. Wise and knowing, he is. Older, he must be. Although
yeah, he did encourage Kurt to run after Karofsky and confront him alone
in a locker room, so maybe... not so wise. Oh, dear, I didn't drop it.
Brittney bounces up to him. She gushes happily about
how much she likes his clothes and everything he does, and I think...
OK, she's been carrying that torch quite awhile now! She wants to be
his campaign manager because he's the biggest unicorn. Apparently, when
a pony does a good deed he gets a horn and becomes a unicorn. Then he
poops out cotton candy, which Quinn then uses as her new hairstyle,
until Santa Clause gives him a magic ReWalk, but it only lasts until
the Super Bowl because he forgot he was magic and both the ReWalk and
the horn fell away.
The point is that a unicorn is somebody who
is magical/weird as hell, and is not afraid to show it/completely
incapable of hiding it. And apparently, drinking its blood can keep
evil dark wizards alive, too. Stay away from Ralph Fiennes, Kurt. I
know you are dating Harry Potter, but watch out, anyway. Brittney
thinks she can get Kurt votes because she's slept with a lot of people,
but she's not smart enough to get into politics herself.
honey, watch a debate sometime. I'd say she's really quite competitive
with some of the geniuses currently running for high office out there.
I mean, when she said the capital of Ohio was O, she wasn't actually, you know,
WRONG. Kurt is flattered and excited and I suddenly remembered that I
really like this pairing, even though the intellectual level of the two
characters is almost as far apart as the acting ability of the
performers. I think I like Unicorns, as long as they don't poop
rainbows on my rug.
Will is ecstatic as he enters the choir
room. Vocal Adreneline came in SECOND at Nationals last year – probably
because they used songs written by professional songwriters and
rehearsed them before they got to New York – so the boosters at Carmel
fired Dustin Goolsby, which means that now they can't find any coach at
all, so now New Directions has a
prayer of beating them, even if they let Finn sing lead. Way to go,
Carmel boosters with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement. Will is on
fire with alpha male confidence and assertiveness. He's going to make
the club's weak dancers all attend Booty Camp. I think he's still got
the idea of getting laid on his mind. OK, Will, what you are thinking
of is a Booty Call, and it does not involve your students. He calls out
all the people he thinks do not dance
well. Finn has the graciousness to know he's one of them. Puck.
Hummel. Hummel? Visions of Colfer keeping up in the front row with
Morrison and Shum during Singing in the Rain last year flash through my
indignant mind. Kurt also objects, because doing Single Ladies every
night through 44 tour dates during the Glee Live tour ought to be enough
Booty Camp for anybody. Mercedes
has to come, too. Blaine actually volunteers. Given that Kurt is
attending, I find myself hoping that Blaine thinks it's a Booty Call...
and what... is he wearing on his neck? Who is dressing this boy?
Kurt, help him. Give him a little Pavrotti Remembrance Brooch and get
rid of that awful tie.
Will cannot direct the musical because he wants New Directions
to win Nationals this year. I guess that means he won't try to star in
one, either. He introduces the musical directors this year – Emma and
Beiste. Emma? OK, he's definitely still fixated on the Booty Call, and
maybe that hot Toucha Toucha scene. Rachel shakes her head
immediately. Shannon's here to force the football team to be the Jets.
She's got experience, too. She was in A Funny Thing Happened on the
Way to the Forum, playing The Forum. Which is, at best, a piece of
scenery, because I've been in that play. Kurt would make a fabulous
Hysaterium, and might even be a pretty good Pseudelous. (That's the male lead, by the way, and I would never give the role to Blaine. He'd play Hero.) Will also wants to include
a student director this year, and Rachel immediately thinks it's her.
It's not. He wants Artie, who has directed several pretty good student
films, to be the student director. You see, Artie can't actually BE IN
the show, because Will can't see beyond the wheelchair
is making coffee in the teacher's lounge when Shelby burst back into
his life. He's not overcome with joy. Shelby is now on the faculty. It
appears that Sugar's daddy has more dollars than sense, so after Will
refused to allow Sugar to sour his New Directions sound, she convinced
daddy to give Figgins the money to hire Shelby, the very best show choir
money can buy. Because Sugar's a supernova. Which means she is likely
to explode with tremendous damaging force at some point. Will is
worried about how Shelby's arrival might affect Rachel, Puck and Quinn,
but Shelby insists that she has to make things right again.
LApparently, Shelby's method of making things right is to start a Glee
Club war within a single school
that is already hostile to kids in the arts, all to please a tone deaf
brat. Sounds like a terrific plan to me. Will, who has a Glee Club
made out of talented kids who went to Nationals last year, hopes that
the Best Club will win. Shelby, who has a Glee Club made up of Sugar
Motta, assures him that she will.
In the girls' bathroom, we
find the Skanks holding a young girls' head in the toilet. "Give us
your lunch money" snarls Quinn. The terrified child hands over some
money and runs out of the bathroom as Sheila threatens her with a...
plastic spoon. . It warms my heart to see how seriously the writers
of this show have taken last year's hamfisted bullying arc to heart.
Sue notices the sopping wet little girl as she enters the bathroom, but
she does not care, because the McKinley Teachers All Suck. She wants
to talk to Quinn about her terrible fall from grace. Quinn has lost her
child, her boyfriend, her rep, even her ponytail. She went from being
the head Cheerio and the most popular girl in school to being a Skank,
and Sue blames.. not Quinn's own breathtaking hypocrisy, disloyalty,
dishonesty, bad judgement, and weakness for wine coolers, but Quinn's
enrollment in the Glee Club, which Sue herself demanded way back two
years ago when she needed a spy. Sue offerrs Quinn the chance to get
back at the Glee Club, who did nothing but induce her labor, by starring
in Sue's video about a girl from whom The Arts stole everything. Quinn
agrees, as long as Sue puts thrift store couches under the bleachers.
Sue agrees, and then steals Quinn's stolen lunch money.
the campaign manager has donned a Unicorn horn, and her campaign is in
full sparkly, sequined, pink bloom. She's going to make a hundred
thousand copies of each pink poster and hand everybody pink bags filled
with rainbows and Windy Dinky. Yes, the boy Teletubby that carried a
purse. Kurt has just encountered something in the world too flamboyant
for his taste. He thinks he might as well have a neon sign over his head
saying "gay diddy gay de gaygaygay." He doesn't just want to be known
as "Kurt Hummel, Homo." Actually, a lot of Kurt's fans, including me,
would like for him to be known as something other than "Kurt Hummel,
Homo" but Ryan ain't listening because he likes to make Chris cry. Kurt
has a toned down idea for a poster, a comparatively tasteful black and
white shot of him as emaciated Vogue model with the legend "What Becomes
a Legend Most? Winning!" Yes, this shot is both more tasteful than
Brittney's campaign and a Carson Kressley wet dream. Gay diddy gay de
gaygaygay. I'm tired of it, too, Kurt. Go join the football team. I
understand you'd make a great kicker.
Puck is walking down the
hallway with Quinn. He has a surprise for her; Shelby is lying in wait
in one of the classrooms. She went to New York, ready to be a working
mom and Broadway performer, but discovered that she could never stop
thinking about Beth. She feared she would miss too many milestones, so
she jumped at the chance to come back to Lima as Sugar Motta's own
personal ego stroker. However, this is not really about Beth.
Apparently, it's about Shelby's regrets over Rachel. She's been looking
for Rachel's face ever since she gave her up for adoption, which is
remarkable, since Shelby quite deliberately and callously dumped the
teenaged girl who needed her for a younger model the last time they met.
Shelby, instead of imagining where Rachel is, pick up the damned phone
and ask her. Oh, wait, you can't, since you hurt her so badly she
almost had to have therapy. Only babies need love and support from
their mommies. I do not like this woman. Can we please meet Rachel's
fathers instead of hanging out with this bitch some more? Shelby
wants Quinn to be part of Beth's life, but only if she cleans up her
act. Quinn, after ignoring Beth's existance for an entire year, is
suddenly ferociously angry that Shelby is acting like she's Beth's
mother. "You're not her mom! I'm her mom!" It wasn't the papers that
turned Shelby into Beth's mom, Quinn. It was the diapers. And the 2
o'clock feedings. And the trips to the doctor for colic and ear
infections. All happening while you were yoyoing between Finn and Sam
and running for Prom Queen. Quinn stalks out like a spoiled child, and
Shelby shares sad glances with Puck.
Cut to the choir room, and
lovely slo-mo images of Mike Chang and Mr. Shue being poetry in motion.
Mercedes thinks she ought to be allowed to just stand around singing
notes nobody else can while everybody else dances around her. For the
first time it's very clear to me why Rachel, who is willing to break a
sweat, is the Glee Club's only Queen Bee. Mike begins teaching the
Grapevine, and Blaine reveals to Kurt, as they plod to the left, that
he's singing Tony songs for the audition. Kurt is flustered by the
news, suddenly aware that Blaine is very well suited for Tony. Blaine
senses his unhappiness, and offers to try out for a different role...
because he's only a Junior. Blaine, who was Kurt's mentor, audition
advisor, and courage coach last year, who attempted to teach him about
sex, who was singing songs about sex toys in the Gap to an employee who
worked there, who transfered from Gay Hogwarts to be with Kurt... is one
year younger than Kurt is. And we learn this stunning piece of
information in a throwaway line that makes it sound like the most
natural thing in the world. Because I was wrong last week. Continuity
really Does Not Matter, and it is best to watch this show as if you
were the guy from Memento and can only remember the things that have
happened in the last five minutes.
At this point, the Internet
breaks. Tumblr goes insane. Klainers all over the world burst out in
hysterical fits of weeping, and then turn viciously on Kurt for being a
horrible, cradle robbing boyfriend who is taking advantage of this poor
little baby. I would be more upset with him if any of this made any
narrative sense. It's all quite obviously dictated by the desire to
have Darren Criss keep Glee from going down the toilet next year, after
they get rid of every single other character anybody cares about. I
hate it when considerations like this are so obviously telegraphed.
Kurt pours fuel on the indignant Internet fire by indicating that he'd
kind of like it if he got the role, since he's a senior, and punctuates
that with jazz hands, earning a reprimand from General Schuster. At
least now I know why the Glee Club's second best male dancer is in Booty
Camp. Jazz Hands.
Rachel is warming up as Shelby comes
through the door. Strange how the very sight of that woman upsets so
many people. Including me. Rachel immediately refuses to join Shelby's
new choir. Rachel and Shelby immediately define the difference between
mother and birth mother, a distinction lost on Quinn, and Rachel tries
to run away and sing. Shelby convinces her that she has to sing
"There's a Place For Us" as her audition, and this turns into a
beautiful duet that is clearly intended to show how lifelong betrayal
and regret can be washed away in two minutes by the Magical Power of
Song. Is Shelby also trying out for Tony? At least it's a more
appropriate duet for them than Poker Face.
Sue is putting
together a video that shows Quinn, her life ruined by the arts, looking
unusually trashed out. She's smoking cigarettes and... corn starch.
Corn starch? Quinn, who is not actually on drugs, is as startled by
this as the average television viewer. Perhaps she had been promised
Pucks' wonderful season one pot brownies, back when the show was
genuinely edgy. Quinn and Sue burst into Will's office, and Quinn goes
into a nonsensical monologue about how her life was ruined by Glee Club.
Getting pregnant clearly had nothing to do with it. Will Schuster
promptly delivers the best scene of his entire Glee career, restoring my
faith in Matt Morrison's acting skill, as he rightly declares that
Quinn cares for nobody but herself. He rattles off an accurate list of
all the things Glee Club has done for Quinn, with not so much as a thank
you. He tells her to grow up. I cheer, because he's right, and it's
about time somebody said this to Quinn. Quinn leaves, clearly shaken,
and Sue cooly pretends this devastating video did not turn out.
comes to see Beth. He's endearingly anxious to prove he's worthy of
the privilege: he hasn't had a drink... except beer... and after doing
his homework he knows Napoleon is an actual dude. Shelby reminds him
that having a relationship with a child is not about bursts of energy,
but a long term commitment. So what was that Somewhere duet with
Rachel? Oh, wait, that self-righteous platitude only counts if the
child in an infant. Shut up, Shelby, and let Puckerman see his kid.
And then, he does, and Puck develops the tenderest expression I've ever
seen on him. He has drawn his daughter a picture – a funny, dopey
little clown pig. Beth is not impressed, but I think it's adorable.
Puck wants to hold Beth, but in an act that indicates he is the only
person in this entire scenario thinking about anybody except himself,
decides he does not want to freak her out. He's willing to do anything
to prove he can be in Beth's life, and across the internet, ovaries
explode as Shelby ponders this.
Kurt struts onto the audition
floor, prancing like a majorette to a degree he has not done since he
was evaluating prom dresses for his girlfriends last year. He is
auditioning for the romantic male lead of Tony by pretending to be Fanny
Brice. And it's OK. He's got written permission from Rachel to sing
Streisand. He then launches into a performance of I'm the Greatest Star
that would not be technically possible in the real world. He's
singing, he's acting, he's climbing up and down scaffolding like a
highly skilled little monkey, and he's doing gymnastic tricks that
cannot possibly be performed while singing and talking upside down. He
even twirls Chris Colfer's Sai swords. Boy, if he'd had those things in
a certain locker room last season, the whole year would have turned out
very differently for everybody.
Kurt has thought this through
very carefully. He's wearing something very much like what I saw in the
flim version of West Side Story, and that scaffolding does indeed
suggest the fire escapes of the inner city. Those swords might remind
one of the switchblades in the rumble. It is a superb, professional
level audition for any role except the bland romantic male lead. He
could get into NYADA with this thing. The only thing it does not do for
him is indicate that he can be Tony. The judges applaud crazily, as
they should, and Kurt is under the impression that he did a good job.
Because he did. If this script were not so hell-bent on demanding
that we think there's only two roles worth having in West Side Story,
nobody on the Internet would be flippantly declaring that Kurt has
auditioned poorly. Meanwhile, Ryan Murphy, who wrote this scene, is
shouting, "Bring it ON, you phalanx of Supporting Actor nominees from
Modern Family! Top THIS!!! Go Chris, GO!" It's Emmy Bait. Totally.
Why is this kid in Booty Camp?
Puck makes a quick visit to Quinn
in the ladies' room, which he visits often, because it is cleaner. His
task is to convince Quinn to clean up her act enough to be able to be in
Beth's life. Somehow, the phrase "I don't care about you, I care about
her" has enough impact to make Quinn drop the tough facade. I
understand why they wrote Lauren out, because this is the most
interesting and compelling Puck and Quinn have both been in over a year.
The judges are going over their Marias and Tonys. Beiste
likes Rachel for Maria, but Emma is pulling for Mercedes, since her
soulful voice makes her perfect for a role that was once played by
Natalie Wood. And sung by Marni Nixon, who reminds me more of Julie
Andrews than Aretha Franklin. All of them are agreed that Kurt's
audition for Tony was awesome, full of star quality. However, Beiste is
concerned that Kurt is too effeminate to play Tony. She wants somebody
who excites her lady loins. Never mind that, as we were brutally told
last year, nobody wants to think about Beiste's lady loins, ever. If
there's anybody in the entire show who should not be pigeonholing
another person for not meeting traditional views on gender
representation, it's the massive woman in a grotesque tutu who wept
because she has Never Been Kissed until Will laid one on her out of
pity. Still, it's a reasonable, fair, private discussion, and it's just
unfortunate that Hummel is huddled outside their window, eavesdropping,
desperately trying to determine his fate. When Artie agrees that he
might be too delicate for Tony, Kurt's face falls.
Just for the
record, check out the awesome hunk of tough manly manliness who played
Tony in the original Broadway Production of West Side story – Larry
Kert. Yes, his last name really was Kert. http://www.wssonstage.com/hs.kert2.jpg
Choreographer Jerome Robbins, himself also gay, publicly insulted
Larry for being too effeminate on the set, and he was eventually
replaced by non-singing actor Richard Baymer in the film. You see,
Baymer was straight. Poor old Larry never had that level of success
again, and he ended up dying of AIDS. The question of being too faggy
to play Tony has a long, tragic, illustrious history, especially if your
name is Kert or Kurt. And I bet Ryan Murphy has no idea about any of
this, since he didn't even know Julliard did not accept Musical Theatre
Kurt is striding sadly down the hallway when he is
accosted by further evidence of his frilly femininity. He sees the
image of himself riding a Unicorn, surrounded by rainbows, and realizes
that the school hallways are wallpapered with them. Brittany and
Santana have been hard at work. Kurt, livid, tears the poster off the
walls and prances furiously down the halls, squealing, "This is NOT the
poster we agreed on!" Brittany thinks the poster Kurt wanted was
depressing. Kurt, who has probably not forgotten the heart-stopping
moment that he was declared Prom Queen, realizes that this particular
campaign probably is not going to compel anybody at McKinley to make him
their fearless leader. Or Tony. He frantically grabs Rachel, because
he needs to audition again, and she is eager and willing to help.
Brittany, defeated, turns sadly to Santana. Santana gently tells her
that Kurt does not deserve Brittany's support, and that she is the
Kurt, in full Elizabethan clothing that he apparently
has been keeping in his locker for an emergency like this, appears in
the audition room with a huge mattress. He wants to show off the
masculine intensity he would bring to Tony, so he's going to bed with
Rachel. They are doing the final love scene from Romeo and Juliet,
right after they've had sex. Artie is already giggling before they even
get started, which means this audition is over before it begins, and
Rachel proudly announces that she's already off book.
moment they begin, Rachel recites her words as if she's late to a fire,
and Kurt's voice immediately drops three octaves. While their line
readings are not particularly thoughtful or nuanced, this is not a
terrible high school level rendition of Shakespeare. I've heard a lot
worse at UIL competitions. A person walking in on them the first time
would not see or hear anything amiss at all. However, the judges panel
knows what Kurt really sounds like, and I suddenly realize that this is
basically a rehash of the Pink Houses scene back in Laryngitis. (Which
was Chris' Emmy reel the first season.) Yes, Murphy has Chris reciting
Shakespeare while pretending to be butch. Emmy Bait. No question about
it. The compassionate, mature judges are now openly chortling at Kurt,
but he's able to hold it together until he attempts to kiss Rachel...
and she also laughs directly in his face. Rachel, you want to be a star
performer on Broadway. If you aren't able to keep your composure while
doing a love scene with a gay guy, I suggest you find another line of
work. Kurt's face is heartbreaking as he flees in humiliation and
despair, and Rachel is disraught at the degree to which she has hurt
him. So is the judging panel, but only Rachel even attempts to
The problem here is not that Kurt can't do the
scene, but that nobody else is capable of separating who he is as a
person from what he's attempting to present on stage. He can't win by
being himself, and he can't win by attempting to conform. Beiste is a
woman who has been hurt and ridiculed for not fitting into
hetronormative roles, and Emma is the school guidance counselor. Their
inexcusable behavior here is more fitting for Sue. Or Will, who once
tried to force Kurt into fishnets for Frank N Furter, since he also
cannot see past the swish. This episode is NOT about how Kurt needs to
try harder to fit in. This scene was meant to underline that other
people will not allow him to do that.
Sugar Motta is torturing
Shelby. Well, she's good for something, at least. Sugar rapes the
scales, insults her increasingly horrified teacher, in a way that is
still nothing like Aspergers, and saunters off to watch TV. I think
she's a one joke character and she's going to get very old, very fast.
Quinn slinks in, and Shelby tells her that Quinn is acting out in the
same way that Shelby did immediately after giving up Rachel. Of course,
Quinn began acting out immediately after losing Prom Queen to an
unfortunate boy who is in some hallway somewhere crying his eyes out.
Quinn did not mention Beth for an entire year. Oh, sorry. Continuity
Does Not Matter. I must remember the Memento Strategy of watching Glee.
I am not yet sure if we are to ignore all continuity, or just all of
Season Two. Shelby urges Quinn to stop punishing herself, but will not
allow Quinn to see Beth in person until she changes her ways. Seeing a
photo of Beth moves Quinn to tears, and Dianna Agron has her best scene
in a long time. There was a lot of that this episode, for a lot of
people. Murphy can write well when he wants to.
Burt's tire shop, helping Finn. She's babbling on about how nervous she
will be until the audition results are posted, and urges Finn to try
out for the musical, since the field for Tony is still wide open. Since
Kurt is sitting less than fifty feet away, visible in the background as
she says this, it is unusually unkind. However, Finn considers
football, school, booty camp, and this part time job, and thinks he
might really have a full plate. He wants to save money for college.
Rachel is still under the impression that Finn has enough talent to get
into NYADA. Love is blind and deaf, obviously. Finn, showing a
remarkable amount of common sense, wonders if it would be so bad to stay
in Lima and work for Burt. However, Rachel believes that her dreams
for Finn are the only ones that are worth following, just as Tony and
Maria are the only parts in West Side Story worth playing. They end
with a kiss, but Rachel demands that he wipe the grease off his nose.
She sure is a picky kisser.
Just by the by... Burt is awesome.
It's great to be a guy like Burt. He proves it as he strides into the
shop, tells the lovers to knock it off, and asks Kurt why he's in the
shop. Once upon a time, we actually saw Kurt willingly help his father
in the shop, but... eh, sorry. Memento strategy. Burt knows something
is bothering Kurt, so he tells him to spill, and Kurt makes a very short
list of the Broadway musical roles he thinks he can play. I personally
think he's missed several dozen, but I'll give him a break because he's
downhearted and Murphy does not know anything about Broadway musicals.
Burt reminds Kurt that he's very gay, and thinks there is nothing wrong
with that. Kurt wants to be able to pass as straight for the great
romantic roles. Burt suggests that he start writing roles for himself.
"Change the rules. Write your own history." Write yourself a spoof of
Sweeney Todd called Shirley Todd, and change everybody's gender. Write
yourself a movie script called Struck By Lightning. And if you walk
into a Glee audition and aren't right for the role of Artie, dazzle the
producers so completely that they create a character just for you. It
appears that the third season of Glee may well be subtitled "The Chris
Colfer Story" because this whole episode has been a love letter to
Chris intent on showing the world how wonderful Ryan Murphy thinks he
is. Colfer is The Unicorn.
Back in dance rehearsal, Finn is
still having trouble with the choreography. At one point, he falls
down. He's ready to give up, but Shue convinces him to try again. Finn
is still ungainly, but he gets through the entire routine successfully,
and he is greeted with cheers. Nobody laughs in his face for stepping
outside his comfort zone. Quinn enters, clean, wearing a demure white
dress and hair a natural shade of blonde. Although she is the person
who actually set the purple pianos on fire, she is instantly welcomed.
Puck is proud of her. Quinn informs him that she wants custody of Beth.
Puck looks nervous. He knows that Quinn is delusional and this is
unlikely to end well. Except that in Glee, a lot of things happen that
make no sense, so it might just work.
Back in the teacher's
lounge, there are a string of jokes about how large and unfeminine
Beiste is as she gnaws into a chicken. The irony is deliberate and
almost heavy-handed. I get it, Ryan. I get the hypocrisy. Thanks for
ruining this wonderful character, who was also, once, a Unicorn. Sue
sits down to insult Emma, and Will gloats because Quinn is back in Glee
Club. Will thinks that Sue's campaign has taken a hit because of this,
but Sue declares that Quinn is an addict who has suffered a relapse. Of
course, this particular addictive relapse has resulted in Quinn taking a
bath, losing the cigarettes, and putting on attractive, feminine
clothing. Kind of the opposite of what one might expect from an addict.
However, apparently critical thinking skills in Ohio are very low,
because Sue has turned hating the arts into a brand, and Sue is now in
first place. Beiste thinks they have to find a political challenger
with credibility to run against her. Will ponders this. Who on earth
will they possible pick? Who could it possibly be the Anti-Sue? Here
is cliffhanger number one, although almost everybody already knows the
answer. Check tumblr.
Kurt comes up to Brittany, ready to
embrace her, her posters, and his own inner Unicorn. However, Brittany
has decided that sixteen previous male McKinley class presidents have
caused the current national double dip recession, so she is going to run
her own campaign. Kurt is taken aback, either because Brittney has
very sweetly betrayed him or because she knows what a double dip
Blaine comes forward to audition. He sings
Something's Coming. It's a very mainstream, typical version, exactly
what you would want for a high school Tony, although I don't think
Darren is showing the vocal resonance and power one would need to do
this on Broadway. This is completely, totally serviceable and credible.
And a little boring. Kurt, watching from the balcony, smiles gently
with pride and love. The judges panel almost collapses with relief, and
Artie drops a bomb. Would he be willing to read for the part of Tony?
Blaine's face registers an awkward mixture of surprised joy and slight
panic. Kurt, looking like somebody just ran over his dog, walks out of
the room as the screen fades to black. Kurt might want to stop
eavesdropping. He keeps hearing things he does not want to know.