Glee Recap 3X3: Asian F

Five, six, seven, eight! Who should we assassinate? The writers! Of this Cheese! Filled show! Forgive me. I am very bitter right now. Ever so very, very bitter. I would like to take my bitterness and feed to... oh, just listen. You'll figure it out. And I am bitter that I have to be so bitter over what was really, for the most part, a very good episode. Was it The Best Episode Ever? Say no. If you do, Cory Monteith owes you money, and the Internet Twitter Mafia is already ordering him to pay up. The things you find out on tumblr. I hope Murphy is paying him well.

It's Booty Call... er, Booty Camp! All those not divine enough to be Mike Chang (who is VERY divine this week) are plodding or prancing through their twirls and step ball stomps. Brad, who is playing a not purple piano, looks as enthusiastic as ever, which mean he's daydreaming about how happy he will be when three quarters of these kids graduate. I am puzzled to see Santana at Booty Camp. Not only is she a traitor and a pariah, but she's a flipping Cheerio and she dances very well.

The first rash of twirls ends with an angry Schuster barking out to the corner of the room. "You're late!" Mercedes ambles in overly tardy wearing an oversized football jersey and offering an overused excuse. "I overslept!" Of course, it's 4:30 in the afternoon, but apparently, Mercedes got up half an hour late this morning and it shifted her whole schedule. Funny how the school class schedule magically changes to be synchronized with Mercedes' alarm clock. Except Will. Mercedes notices that Santana the pariah is in the Booty Camp and asks why she's there. Santana says that the writers had something they wanted her to do in this episode, so they tossed her back in and hoped we would not notice or care. And Santana hopes Sue won't notice or care. Yes, this will work, 'Tana. Apparently, there are worse things than being an arsonist at McKinley. Santana is loyal this week, because the pianos are not purple.

Mike begins to go through the dance routine with Mercedes. After about two and a half twirls, she's done, heading towards a large, suspiciously handy barrel with clear intent to lose her lunch. Yeah, some people do that after really intense exercise. Mercedes does it after a trip to Quizno's. Quizno's made her sick AND late. This is not good product placement for those sandwiches. Makes me wonder if they refused to let Murphy use their advertising jingle as a group number, or something. Murphy be vindictive, folks.

So is Will. With a sweeping statement that will soon be a Motivational Poster, he says "It's not about Doing Your Best anymore. It's about Doing Better." Which means, Mercedes, your best kind of sucks. The others feel her pain. Either that, or think she just is a pain.

Good morning! Emma is flitting happily through the kitchen as Will thumbs through a magazine. "Do you want me to iron some bacon for you?" she asks happily. I am suddenly hit by the mental image of Emma taking a clothing iron to those darn wrinkles in breakfast. Will, who apparently prefers the soggy, permanent press allure of cornflakes, would rather discuss Emma's dirty, dirty secret. It appears that she's hoarded a stash of bridal magazines, and Will confronts her with them. Apparently, Emma wants to get married. Again. At least she'd still be able to wear white, which is just too sad to contemplate. At first, Emma tries to blame Terri, because she's forgotten that weddings weren't really Terri's thing. Pretend babies were Terri's thing. Maybe this would have worked if she'd hidden some issues of Imaginary Embryo Today or Fake Pregnancy Quarterly. And the autographed photo of Vera Wang clinches the lie.

However, Will is a brave, brave man. He's been through one nightmarish marriage, and Emma's been through... an unusually stupid plot contrivance designed only to keep them apart in season two... and yet, Will is ready to try again. He looks forward to marriage as one of the many milestones they will share together. In the interest of honesty, he reveals his own dirty, dirty secrets. And this time, the magazines are actually dirty. I am not sure if Will is owning up to his fetish or making a hail Mary pass to get into Emma's pants. (Baby! I've tried everything! I've tried being romantic, I've tried moving you in with me, I've tried making veiled references to my morning wood, and I've even tried being assertive with people! Will THIS make you horny for me?) Emma, however, nearly faints and puts them to the side. I'm trying to figure out why either of these secrets were hidden in the kitchen next to the wrinkled bacon and the permanent press cornflakes. What ever happened to the back of the closet or the hidden compartment under the stairs?

Having dispensed with two sets of dirty, dirty secrets, Will begins working on a third. Why hasn't he met Emma's parents yet? Emma's first reaction is to declare that they are dead; I am not sure if that's a lie or a mere moment of wishful thinking. However, apparently she's been conducting seances with them over the telephone. Emma, who has a phalanx of Bridzillas on Parade hidden in the pantry, wants to take this relationship slowly and feels that it is too soon for Will to meet her parents. One wonders if she will invite them to that wedding. On the other hand, they probably didn't go to the first one either, which may explain why it took Carl as long as it did to run screaming for the hills.

In the lunch room, Mercedes' mountain of a boyfriend is carting a wheelbarrow full of food to his seat when he sees his beloved in a crucial tactical error. She is hugging her arch nemisis, Rachel Berry. The human mountain, who is apparently named Shame, er, Shane, thinks this behavior is entirely too civilized and gracious and must stop immediately. It's winner takes all! Mercedes must play the lead! The guy playing Shane is a terrible actor, and I am bitterly disappointed! Was he cast to make Amber look good by comparison? Because he totally does. At this point I wonder how being really cold and nasty to Rachel would give Mercedes an edge in the Maria race, which is determined by three people who apparently have no criteria at all for any lead role except that a person be able to sing well and fit preconceived notions of gender identification, just like Bieste does. Shane thinks Mercedes, not Rachel, is the one to beat in this race. He thinks Mercedes is Beyonce. She ain't no Kelly Rowland, er, Effie White. Sorry, Kelly is so Season One. We've updated this to include a brand new obsession with Dreamgirls, because there will be a truly amazing dream sequence later in this broadcast. However, unlike Effie, Mercedes is not actually pregnant, even if three dance steps gives her the dry heaves. At least, we hope she is not, because that would also be so Season One. Shane thinks Mercedes is better than Rachel, and Mercedes launches into song.

Suddenly she is in the choir room, glowering at Rachel as she receives loving attention from Mr. Schue. Tina provides backup vocals to Mercedes and I suddenly realize the depth of this irony, especially since Tina once had to compete with Rachel for a solo from West Side Story as well. But that is so Season One. Tina is not even trying out this year. Apparently, she is either afraid that somebody is going to interrupt her solo again or her vampire constitution will not allow her to visit the school in broad daylight. Then Mercedes is on the stage, singing with all her heart. She is powerful and vibrant and utterly unlike any Maria I have ever seen before. Meaning, she's mad talented and completely wrong for the part. However, the judges love her. Mercedes declares herself a leading lady, becoming the second extraordinarily talented person in the audition process to perceive this as a raw talent showcase rather than as an opportunity to inhabit a particular role. Rachel, who watches her from the wings, panics when she realizes she has actual competition. Yes, she and Kurt really are, in some ways, very much alike.

In the hallway, Tina is excited for her man, Mike. He has his big audition for West Side Story tomorrow. Mike wants to play the role of Riff, the show's second male lead. He wants to show that he's more than a dance ninja. He sings! He dances! He dies! Mike has been practicing his singing all week for this big break. Once again, I find myself wondering why Mike is not encouraging Tina in the same manner, but I forget – Tina does not get storylines of her own. She's his cheerleader, just as she was Artie's cheerleader once – but that was so Season One. However, Mike is very worried. He got an A -, which Tina understands to be a catastrophe, but she still thinks Mike should be honest with his father. Just like she was honest about her stutter? Wow. More continuity. I can't believe it. Let's see how long Glee can keep this up.

Down the same hallway come Kurt and Rachel. Kurt is feeling very hopeful at the moment about the race for Class President; only he and Brittany seem to actually want the job. The most popular kids in school don't all want to be Class President? There were six couples trying out for Prom Royalty last year. It makes me wonder if the Class President has to clean the school toilets or wipe up the slushie puddles after each attack. You know, for a bunch of losers, the Glee Club kids appear to be the only people at this school who do... anything... that generally involves being popular. However, since Brittany is famously not intelligent, Kurt is feeling very cocky. Rachel and Kurt begin to crow about his inevitable success in almost exactly the same manner they crowed about getting instantly into NYADA two episodes ago, and hand out campaign buttons. I want one. Santana saunters up, sneers "Nice blouse, Hummel" and Brittany asks for Rachel's vote. Rachel announces her fidelity to Kurt, and Brittany, who has clearly swallowed a dictionary, rattles off a rapid fire indictment of how male student body presidents at McKinley High Schooll have led to all the international problems of the past six years. She then launches into an EPIC rendition of Girls Run the World. I have to say that Brittany's strategy is very impressive. Sing an aggressive song of female empowerment while dancing like a sex fiend. Girls will vote with their pride and straight boys with their p.... you get the idea. Sue makes her only appearance in the episode, grooving to this new feminist anthem. By the end of the number Kurt is completely surrounded by girls who are drunk on Female Empowerment, and facing the horrible irony of his life.

He is too feminine to be in the play, and now he appears to be too masculine to be Class President.

Emma, Will and Beiste are in the teacher's lounge going over auditions for Maria. Beiste thought Rachel had it in the bag until Mercedes' audition. Both women are cooing over how much Mercedes has improved, and how much her confidence is grown. It does appear, in their enthusiasm for Mercedes' improved self esteem, that they have forgotten that this is a play audition process, rather than a self-help seminar. Will takes the credit for browbeating Mercedes to excellence. He has not met Shane, apparently, and does not understand that Mercedes responds to certain approaches better than others. Emma and Beiste both admit, up front, that Mercedes does not fit the typical mould for Maria, but Beiste that they might be able to work around this.

Let's be clear on this point.
Rachel is perfect for Maria.
Blaine is perfect for Tony.
Mercedes is risky for Maria, but she's awfully talented, isn't she?
Kurt is risky for Tony, but he's awfully talented, isn't... never mind. He's completely out of the running.

The double standards here from the woman the size of a small house are really very interesting. She's the one who refused to accept Kurt as Tony, and she's the one championing Mercedes as Maria. She thinks it is too close to call, so Will suggests callbacks.

Mercedes is infuriated that she has to go through this. Rachel, in her snottiest voice, explains that they can't just give HER the part. Rachel still wants to sing I Feel Pretty, but the judges have decided to choose a song that has nothing to do with West Side Story. They want each of these girls to sing "Out Here On My Own". Well, I guess all the people who were complaining about Kurt and Mercedes not using West Side Story songs to audition can pipe down now, because this decision makes no sense. It appears to me that they are actually stacking the deck for Mercedes, since it's a big, soulful diva number and not a demure showtune. Outside the office, Rachel assumes her snotty little voice again and offers Mercedes a friendly hug, but Mercedes, under the evil influence of Shane, rebuffs her. Because being mean and arrogant is certain indicative of an effective Maria. This really hurts Rachel's feelings.

Later, in the same hallway, Mike is on his cellphone, pleading with his father. He's on his way to meet his tutor, promising to do better. But... when he passes by the ballet room, he stops. I am a little shocked that McKinley has a ballet room. My high school did not have a ballet room. Did yours? Once inside this room, which I swear may actually be the McKinley Room of Requirement, (Harry Potter fans will get that) Mike finds himself almost compelled to forget all about that chemistry tutor and the Asian F. All he ever needed... was the music, and the mirror... and the chance, to dance! Indeed, he does not not even need the music, as he flies across the floor, spinning
and twirling, until the mirror starts seriously playing with his mind. There's his dad, listing all the reasons why there is no future for him in dance. It's imaginary, and he's twirling freestyle again just for the passionate joy of it. And then he sees another source of passionate joy. It's Tina. She thinks what he's doing is beautiful, and tells him that his dancing is why she fell in love with him. It's like a very beautifully done version of the angel and the devil on his shoulders, each tempting him a different direction.

I'm going to credit Duchee deliberately and specifically for this next observation, because it's spot on right. It's a good thing Tina is imaginary here, because if she were real, she'd be showing herself to be just horrible. Tina fell in love with Mike during camp one summer, and she ditched Artie Abrams, who is in a wheelchair and agonizes over his own inability to dance. If it's true that Tina ditched the handicapped kid because she found somebody else who could do what he could not, she's a bad person and I am glad she never gets any attention. However, she's just a cloud of dreams in Mike's empty arms, so I can let her off the hook. Maybe she did not actually say that.

In the auditorium, the judges are perplexed, because Mike is never late. At the last minute, he runs onto the stage, chemistry tutor forgotten, ready to audition for Riff. Emma has a preconceived notion about him, too. Does he know it's not just dancing? He does. And he's ready. He most certainly is. Up and down the internet, people are happily cheering about this exuberant audition, where Mike Chang ripped up the shirt that said "Can't Sing" and inhabited Riff in this version of "Cool". It's the perfect song for him, an intense, talky number that requires more passion than range, and Mike kills it. With this audition, Finn is now officially the worst male singer in the Glee Club. Just when I think Mike's done a great job of making his case all by himself, he's suddenly flanked by football players who have materialized out of nowhere in what I must assume are their auditions as Baby John and Action, as required by the Beiste. Now, it's a fully choreographed dance number, and I am sure the three directors have just realized that they've found not only their Riff, but their dance captain as well. It is very fortunate that Beiste and Artie are not going to have to choreograph West Side Story.

Kurt is running across the schoolyard, eager to catch up with Blaine. The last time we saw him watching Blaine, he appeared to have a strong strain of jealousy in his face, but there's nothing but gentleness now as he reminds Blaine that the cast list goes up Friday. At this point we can see that Kurt is hiding something behind his back, and it is not a knife, crowbar, or even a grudge. His mole in the casting office (himself, I suspect, as he's been eavesdropping again) knows that Blaine is the only serious candidate for Tony. Then, Kurt whips out a huge bouquet of roses, possibly a moment of self therapy as he wraps his own defeat in a gesture of love. The bouquet is to celebrate... Blaine. Well, this is fair. Blaine sings to Kurt in this quadrangle, Kurt gives Blaine flowers in this quadrangle, and the whole thing is just so sweet and tender and healthy you know Murphy's going to get bored with it soon. The only thing these boys cannot seem to do for each other in this quadrangle is kiss. They begin, realize the danger, and stop. Blaine puts his arm on Kurt's shoulder awkwardly instead, and I want to suggest that they go look and see if they can find Quinn's sofa under the bleachers. Well, so much for that big bitter cliffhanger. Kurt didn't even flash a bitchface. I'm sure folks will dream up more reasons to argue about how one is a better boyfriend than the other, but it's pretty idylic right now.

In Boot Camp, Will asks all members to try a difficult move called The Widowmaker. As each person succeeds, Will and Mike will tap them out. In a shocking development, Finn is not the last person left dancing. It's Mercedes, looking for the second time like she's about to go into labor and once again raising the incorrect suspicion that she is pregnant. Her ankle hurts. She doesn't feel good. The dog ate her homework. She's the laziest person in the history of show choir and her idiot boyfriend is encouraging her to feel too entitled to things. Now, because Will wants her to learn a dance move Rachel can probably do in her sleep, Mercedes decides that she's had it. In a stunning scene that, once and for all, explains adaquately why Rachel has more power and influence in Glee than Mercedes does, Mercedes quits. She's just not willing to work at all, and declares that she's outgrown Will Schuster.

And yes, what we have here is the stereotype of the lazy black person who won't work for what they want. And that, my friends, is the most offensive and damaging stereotype we will see on the show today, in the person of a woman who never came across as lazy until now. She's arrogant and slothful, but in her mind's eye she is as wronged as the character of Effie White from Dreamgirls, who was thrown out, basically, for wanting others to recognize her superior talent and for getting pregnant. In one of the great, brilliant strokes that Glee sometimes manages to pull off, Mercedes suddenly IS Effie, during the dramatic scene in which she was thrown out of The Dreams. (Mercedes has actually chosen to leave New Directions, but she misses this detail.) Santana is suddenly Deena, and now we know why she was miraculously and clumsily restored to being a member in good status after setting fire to the piano. There's another reason, too, but we will get to that towards the end.

They go into a fabulous, almost operatic argument punctuated by nearly every other member of the Glee Club – except, strangely enough, Rachel, who is actually the problem in Mercedes' eyes. Even her one – time best friend, Kurt, (resplendently dressed in a men's version of the female costume rather than a regular man's suit), joins in the argument with ear-piercing conviction. Yeah, he's wearing the girl's costume. Even Mercedes thinks he's a lady, and that high F ain't something a boy should be able to do. Actually, it might not have been something Kurt should have done, because he was pretty shrieky. But oh yes, does he bring the sass. It's the most attitude he shows in the entire episode. Mike does a nice job with his own anxious lines, as his fabulously successful singing debut continues. Effie insists that she's not going... but Mercedes is wrong here, because she's the one who made that decision.

Mike is dancing in his own personal Room Of Requirement again when he sees yet another apparition in the mirror. She's real this time. It's his mother, a dazzlingly beautiful woman who is shaking with genuine disappointment over an actual infraction. Mike has being lying to his parents about the chemistry tutor. He did not take Tina's advice. Fortunately, this gentle woman covered for him with his father, but that means she is also a liar and I totally get where she's coming from on this. Mike sadly tells her that he auditioned for the musical, because he wants to be a dancer. He wants to be special. Now, I don't think he should take up dancing to be special, because that's something Sugar Motta could do. This show choir suffers from too many people (all of them) who think they should be special without good enough reason. I think he should take up dancing because he's very gifted. And hot as hell in motion. His mother begins to cry, and Mike looks like he might just chime in, but it turns out that she is not upset with him. Mrs. Chang also had dreams. We are not yet clear on exactly what they are, but given that she's married to a stern stuffed shirt like Mike's dad, it's not surprising that they went by the wayside. He probably wants an itemized list of every item they are having for dinner for the next three weeks. Continuity alert: it probably involves dim sum. Apparently, Tina and Mike are always having dim sum with his mom. But that's so Season Two. Mom Chang wants to know when he learns if he gotten the part (every idiot with a remote knows he has by now) and they will tell Mr. Chang together. With that speech, she is officially initiated into the Hummel Society for Really Awesome Parents, and Mike asks what he dreams were. She wanted to be a dancer, but she never had lessons. Mike offers to be her teacher, and I get something stuck in my eye as they waltz around the room. In order to be a member of the Hummel Society for Really Awesome Parents, you must dance with your child at least once. It's like, a rule.

Auditorium. Places. Welcome to the heavyweight Maria Diva-off the world! In this corner, weighing in at approximately she won't tell us pounds, is the petite Jewish sensation who wants to be Barbra Streisand and won't shut up about it. Ever.... Rachel Berry! She is assisted by her devoted boyfriend, the guy who used to be Glee's main male student character but has barely said a hundred words in three episodes this season. I want to know if Ryan Murphy is mad at him. In the other corner, weighing in at please don't ask, is the big fat entitled ain't no Kelly Rowlands and I don't have to dance and you owe me, Schuster diva, Effie, we mean Mercedes Jones! Assisting her is the obnoxious, unappealing guy who replaced Sam Evans, and I want to know if it's too late to get Sam back. Come home Trouty Mouth. Your girlfriend needs you. We have already seen more of this obnoxious duo than we did of Samcedes, and sometimes life just ain't fair. I was ready to give Shane a chance, but he's done. Each of these girls gets a pep talk from her guy, and they get ready for the coin toss. It occurs to me that Kurt and Blaine, who are snuggling in the audience to watch this, must feel a bit odd. Kurt is watching a faceoff betweeen his two closest friends to see which one will get to pretend to be in love with his boyfriend. Blaine has to work with one of these two girls. The first is an egomaniac currently completely out of control, and the other was his unintentional beard for a week. That won't be awkward.

Rachel wins the toss. Finn is either ecstatic or having a seizure. As they begin to sing, it appears to me to be almost a draw in terms of technical ability and beauty of tone. Maybe they will have to have another tiebreaker. How about a few steps of the balletic pas de deux Maria has with Tony? That might end this nonsense right quick, because Mercedes is still much more like Effie White than she is like Maria. The audience stands in approval, and Finn is immensely proud. However, Rachel looks like she just got slapped. "She's better than me" Rachel whispers as I say, "Huh? Where did that come from?" Possibly the lack of confidence came from meeting Harmony two episodes ago, but any conviction that Mercedes really outsang Rachel came from the twisted mind of Ian Brennan and nothing else. Still, Rachel's a fighter. She's still going to after her dreams. She's got a new plan, and she doesn't care who gets hurt by it. Whether he deserves it or not.

Will has a surprise for Emma. The candles are lit. The mood is soothing. The dinner is probably simmering somewhere we can't see, and as Emma comes in, she thinks she is in for a romantic treat. Will, delighted anticipation in his eyes, says that there's something even better. He's invited her parents over! Then his delight turns to alarm as Emma goes into aggressive, full-blown panic. She flees the room in terror, Will in worried pursuit, and Emma wonders if they can get rid of the parents while gulping out of an enormous glass.

Will is hurt. "Are you ashamed of me?" He asks. Because it's all about him. No, apparently, Emma is ashamed of them. And to be honest, if my dad were Ralph Malph, I might be embarrassed, too. And also a little depressed. I remember him when he was young enough to be an unconvincing overaged high school student himself, back in the day. Emma's parents are part of an organization that, like NYADA and schools that allow students to slushie each other regularly in the school hallways, exist only in the world of Glee. They are Ginger Supremacists. As they sit down to dinner, these two red-headed people begin spouting a bunch of blather about preferring the company of their own kind, and I get the idea that Ian is going for biting political satire here and ending up at tedious nonsense. However, her parent's attempt to steal away the title of Most Obnoxious Guest Star from Shane does have one unfortunate reaction. Emma is quietly cleaning something furiously. The OCD is back. Flashback: a sad little ginger girl watches in embarrassment as her hateful parents rebuff the latina woman serving them in a restaurant, demanding their regular, red-headed waitress instead. Then they all clean the glasses touched by their unfortunate server.

And all of a sudden, I realize why Emma's original Born This Way t-shirt said "Ginger" instead of "OCD." She was right, and she was revealing a very painful secret. Will was a complete insensitive jerk about it. That... was kind of brilliant, Ian. It's retrospective continuity, but that's really kind of genius. Assertive Will, who has been making several welcome appearances lately, blows up at both of them, and Emma takes his hand as their boorish guests snipe and hiss at about the food.

Rachel is standing at her locker when Kurt approaches cooly. He thinks they should talk. No, not about NYADA. About backstabbing. Rachel, who was helping him hand out buttons two days ago when he was a frontrunner for the election, is now running for President herself. She explains that since Mercedes might get Maria, she needs the presidency, and offers to make him her vice-president. Kurt, who already knows he is not getting Tony, is not impressed with this. While Rachel is padding her resume and Brittany is declaring war on everything male, Kurt has decided on an actual platform. He wants to make McKinley a better place for other gay kids; possibly it has finally occurred to him that Blaine will be stuck in this hellhole after he graduates, and he's decided to try to fix the situation. Rachel replies Me Me Me Me Me Me Me Me. For the first time in a happy year, we see a frosty, Kurt Hummel with a curt comeback for Rachel Berry. "In ten years time, you will be thinking about the friends you tossed aside." Well, crap. That's so First Season. Sniffle. They broke up my Hummelberry.

In the director's office, the three gutless stooges declare the big news. They have decided to double cast Maria! Everybody wins! YOU get a lead and YOU get a lead and YOU get a lead... Rachel offers to give Mercedes the matinees, but Artie corrects her. They are adding an entire week of performances just so they don't have to develop a spine on this particular issue. Rachel goes into Bitterly Gracious mode and makes a snotty attempt to congratulate Mercedes, but Mercedes is unwilling to behave even this well. They are not double casting any other roles. (I went to tumblr and typed a text message: Why didn't they double cast Tony? I had double digit reblogs in minutes. That NEVER happens to me.) Mercedes insults Rachel for no good reason and struts out of that room as if somebody actually wronged her. So... if she can't be the only star, she doesn't want anything at all. This is not going to be a successful life strategy for her, I do not think.

Rachel meets Finn in the hallway. She announces that she's gotten the part, but she looks and sounds more like she's just run over somebody with her car. Finn happily suggests that this means she can drop out of a presidential race she does not really want, but Rachel has decided she can change the world. Finn is not always dumb; he is the very first person this episode to realize that the Senior Class President of McKinley cannot change the world. That person can only change McKinley. At this point, I am absolutely certain of the eventual result for this storyline. Unless the writers get ADD in mid story, which they certainly did do during the bullying storyline last year, I think Kurt is going to win this, because he's actually holding up Glee's real political agenda. Rachel asks who Finn is voting for. Finn, torn between romance and family, does not know.

Finn. Always side with Kinn. It lasts longer.

Emma is rocking and washing and washing and rocking. She wrings her hands over and over, and she looks like Lady MacBeth. When Will interrupts her, she has to count all over again, and Will sorrowfully apologizes for allowing those... things... into their home. Emma begins to pray in tears. Will gently joins her on the floor, praying with her as he goes into song. Sometimes, song is the preferred form of prayer on Glee, and it's very touching and effective. He is singing "Fix You" to the woman who thinks herself so broken. We see flashbacks of Emma cleaning things, and Artie comes forth with the cast list. Then we see the smiling faces of the winners.

Mike is Riff. We knew that. He is overjoyed. This is the right decision, and it is deserved. Tina is right there to celebrate with him.

Santana is Anita. Even though we did not see her audition, anybody who knows West Side Story knows this is the right decision, and it is deserved. Brittany is there to celebrate with her.
Rachel is Maria. We knew that. She looks very sad and conflicted and Mercedes passes by with a hostile glance. But this is the right decision, and it is deserved.
Blaine is Tony. We knew that. He is overjoyed, and right there with him is Kurt, celebrating his victory. It is the right decision, and it is deserved.

And then Kurt sees his own name on the cast list. It is not the right decision. It is not deserved. And Kurt is not smiling. West Side Story is a Broadway Musical with a huge number of roles for boys who sing and dance, including Action, Baby John (for whom Kurt is absolutely perfect), Bernardo, and Chino. Kurt has been cast as Officer Krupke, the adult buffoon whom all other characters make fun of. He neither sings nor dances. And I throw something at my television.

I loved every minute of this magnificent episode except the last 20 seconds. That really was not necessary, Ian. Anyway, that explains the bitterness. Apparently, it was very important to Shannon Beiste that reluctant football players take roles that might have been filled by somebody who, you know, actually wanted to be in the play. Bah. Making Kurt cry is an old trick, writers, and it's cheap. Find something new to do.