Sunday, May 20, 2012

Live Blog: Celebrity Apprentice Finale! First Hour

And so it begins, Clay's attempt at redemption, his second chance to win a reality show.

The Donald has just roared into his studio in a racecar like an Andretti, and he is currently praising his own philanthropy.

It's anybody's  game - take a look.

They began with 18 has-beens and minor celebrities, not the biggest names.  People threw tantrums.   Parties were thrown.  People got fired for good reasons and bad.  Two survived the capricious whims of Donald - Clay and Arsenio.

Clay wants to help children.

They fight with Penn and Aubrey.

Clay and Arsenio make friends with each other, but they've got to set it aside now.  This is the big one.  They've got to create a charity event.

Arsenio focuses on making fun of the celebrities... and for Clay, it was ALL ABOUT THE KIDS.

ALL ABOUT THE KIDS.  Let's get the priorities straight, folks.

OK, roll call, one last time. If anybody is wondering why I am live blogging this, it's because I am not going to have the heart to recap this if he loses.

Arsenio has just discovered that Magic is facing the wrong way, but there are two more feeds coming.  Adam is afraid he's let Arsenio down.  Finally Magic turns around the right direction, and Arsenio is happy again.

Debbie is still trying to get those sketches for Clay, and she still thinks he's being unreasonable, and I still think he's right to ask for this.

Debbie is afraid the stress will keep her from singing well.  Debbie does not sing well anyway.

Up next:  The Fired Celebrities return to the Board Room.

Donald says the most important thing is family, and he may even believe it.   The morning of the event, Team Clay heads over to the venue.  Debbie is still complaining about the sketches.  Her cousin finally sent the pictures, and they are gorgeous, and Debbie is relieved that Clay likes what he sees.

Arsenio explains that there are two  different parties separated by a partition.  The two groups will eventually end up performing together at the end of the night.

Adam wants to write some lines for Paul and Teresa.  They can't do it for themselves.

Adam wants to create a roast.  Arsenio does not want a roast.  He wants a positive, feel-good event.  Adam is unhappy with this.

Clay's carnival is beginning to come together.  The mural painter is here, and they've got a LOT of work to do.  There are booths to put up, and.. oh, look, Aubrey tries to run off with the NY Lounge guy again.  Clay  steps up to keep track of what's going on, and Aubrey complains again because she likes the idea that she's the only person who never does anything and Clay is actually running things.

Arsenio wants to create a bar atmosphere.  Lots of booze.  He wants clean, simple decor.    He wants to give people booze, make them drunk, make them laugh.   There appears to be a chandelier.

Stuff is coming together at Team Clay, but the mural is still not done, so Clay's got EVERYBODY - including a very surprised Teller - painting this mural.

Trump welcomes back all the losers who were not invited to be part of the final two teams.   They parade across the screen, smile, wave, and take their seats meekly.   We discuss how Lou gives 110% over and over, but he's 110% fired.

Lou has recently had surgery; he can now hear without a hearing aid, and he's raised 41 grand for her charity.

Dayana still has nothing positive to say about Lisa.  Trump suggests that she had a wonderful time, and she coldly thanks him for the opportunity.

Trump asks Victoria if her background helped her in CA, and she says... no... she came in almost last.  She liked the men, but disliked backstabbing women and thought one was a cartoon character (Aubrey) and thought one (Lisa) was crass and tasteless.   Knives are ou!

Patricia scolds Trump.   She lost money for her charity, and it really was not good.  They did not reach their goals; they can't give the kids hot meals.  Trump was expecting a happier answer, I think.

Tia observes the divisive atmosphere on the women's team - Aubrey and Lisa were problems on the women's team.  A theme is developing here.

George Takai - felt he was helped by Trump's kind comments when he got fired; people gave money to George's charity anyway, and everybody claps hands at the only feel-good story of the segment.    A LOT of bitterness here.

Tape rolls to the night of the event.  They discover to their shock that Clay has a HUGE group of people here trying to get into his event... his fans still love him after all this time.  Arsenio has about six people.

Lisa asks who has $10 grand to give Arsenio.  Crickets!  Arsenio cannot find all the familiar faces who promised him money.

Clay asks for the biggest donors first:  20 grand gets a fan in.  Yeah, Clay fans!!!!!!  Claymates are amazing, says Dee!  10 grand from Kelly Clarkson.  Thanks, Kelly!  10 grand from David Foster!  That's the family connection!  Oral Hershiser arrives, and gives 20 grand.

Arsenio's checks start arriving:  5 grand from Jay Leno.


5 grand from Chris Rock.

Eddie Murphy does a little better, offering 10 grand, and I guess he can still come  to Arsenio's parties.

Five grand from George Lopez.

Are they trying to tell us something here?

Then Leno gives another check, and I think he's doing a little better by his friend, here.   Ten thousand from Jimmy Kimmel... well, did he ever  REALLY like Clay?  Two faced!

Marco Andretti gives them 10 grand.  Classy family.  Arsenio, don't drop it on the ground.   You need that.

Lisa thinks the best way to donate money to a charity run by a gay man is to hire a drag queen to dress up as her and do it for her.  Yep, that's Lisa.  10 grand from Lisa, who works for Arsenio.  they are going to discuss this all night, aren't they?  Lisa tells everybody that Clay made her life happy... and that's why she did this for him.

They open up the doors.  Welcome to the carnival.  Let's all play!  A carnival for a children's charity.   Clay thinks it looks incredible.  The mural is awesome.  The tent booths are great.  Clay is doing the hoola hoop, and Debbie gives it a shot as well.

Meanwhile, Arsenio invites everybody to get drunk.  There are magicians that can't possibly top Penn and Teller, and mostly the entertainment appears to be... schmoozing.

Whoopi Goldberg is on her way for Arsenio.   Trump goes in to see the Carnival at Team Clay.  Debbie Gipson greets him in mid hula hoop trick.  Aubrey takes him around to all the booths, because she wants to be the Program Manager, but Clay makes sure he stays in charge, and we hear the classic exchange.

"Just for that, I get to win..."
"Not yet."

Trump comes to see Arsenio's show, and Whoopi arrives as well.  Arsenio is happy because it seems to be going well. Now, let's pull the chord, and have the two parties become one.

Follow the jump to Part Two... this is getting too long. 

Part Two

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