Wednesday, June 27, 2012
"Sexuality" - Glee Project Recap
It's week number four of The Glee Project 2! What is the theme of the week? It's "Sexuality!" Mind you, for this episode of a show related to Glee, we will be focusing exclusively on PDA between boys and girls. Although there is one certain transgender and at least one likely homosexual in this grouping, all the groping will be between people of opposite genders. In this respect, it will be like any typical episode of Glee, where the gay kids mention that they are gay as they chastely sit three feet away from the person to whom they are actually attracted. (Meanwhile, Finchel makes out. Just like old times!)
Everybody is contractually obligated to be pleased and excited about the sexuality theme. Aylin is especially happy, since Slutty appears to be her primary stock and trade. Funny ... she's not... THAT attractive. I mean, she's fine, but she's no Naya Rivera. She casually mentions that the men in her Moslem family will be stoning her by the weekend. I am beginning to wonder if she's running this sexuality motif just to piss them off.
Nellie is nervous. Nellie is a virgin. Watch out, Nellie. They will give you a First Time episode and show you actually in bed with the guy. Don't you know you can't lose your virginity on Glee without it being a Very Special Episode?
They will be singing "I Want to Sex You Up" by Color Me Badd. There's more exaggerated approval. Michael shares: he's pretty experienced, and he thinks math is sexy. Hey, cute kid... e=MC2. Hubba hubba. Oh, wait, that's physics. Never mind, you are too young for me. Come back when you can buy me a drink.
They divvy up the lines, and Mario informs us that he's going to attempt to get along with other people this week. He doesn't want to seem arrogant, so he's going to take whatever line - it doesn't really matter anyway, in the chopped up mess that is the Homework Assignment - and let his awesome, unbelievable talent speak for itself. Oh, go home already.
They all try being sexy and mostly look like goobers. Which is fine - they are kids. Aylin mentions that she never turns the sexy off, which rubs Lily the wrong way; maybe because Lily can't turn it on. Sorry, I just don't like Lily. Shanna thinks sexuality is rainbows and sunshine and sweetness and lollipops. And you know... for her, that might really be true. It's not a bad thing.
Tyler can't do sexy because he's new to being transgender. Tyler can't seem to do much except be transgender. I am beginning to wonder if he'd do any better if he were still a girl... No. Tyler is just awkward. Maybe he will be awesome when he's, like... thirty. I know a lot of people like that, and it's also not a bad thing.
The next day, Abraham has changed his hair. He got rid of the awkward fake red streak and now it is all black. He looks much better. Tyler did it for him, which means Tyler has officially done something really positive and noteworthy this week.
Robert introduces the guest mentor, the most "sexually confident" person on Glee. That's quite a statement for a character who was in the closet half the season and got quite horribly outed. Of course, the actress is surely quite sexy... it's Naya. See, Aylin. This is what sexy looks like. More uproarious applause. Mario says she's so sexy he can see it. Funny, I personally think that if I could only hear Santana and not see her, I'd be thinking of her as the nastiest and rudest. A lot of Santana's appeal is visual - but maybe Mario likes her singing.
Naya begins by admitting that Santana is promiscuous for both genders - I think she's slept with everybody except Rachel and Kurt, so look for new and interesting positions in New York - and she says sex is all about confidence. Also... less is more. So cool yer jets, Aylin.
The kids do the Homework Assignment. I hate this thing because it's so disjointed, but good lord Nellie has an amazing tone to her one little line. Aylin flirting with Tyler is just... awkward. Michael sounds good. I am not sure what to make of the pairing of Ali and Mario... did they intend to put the two handicapped kids together as if this was the Special Olympics part of the sexuality camp? This kind of bothers me. However, Lily grabbing Abraham's leg is just wrong. I know that pairing is not right.
Naya thinks Blake is sexiest when he's playful. Aylin went over the top. Thanks, Naya. We appreciate you giving her that note. Naya liked Charlie's beat boxing. Nellie was nervous. Charlie is the Homework Winner. Yeah, Charlie! I am getting very attached to Charlie! My own son has Aspergers, too, so it's kind of hopeful for me to see Charlie in this top eleven. I'm going to end up one of these episodes weeping, aren't I?
"Naya Rivera thinks I'm seeeeexxxxxxxxyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!" For a kid with Aspergers? Best. Moment. Ever. Ever. EVER. You don't UNDERSTAND. Oh, Charlie, I am so happy for you here.
For the music video, they will be doing a mash-up of Moves Like Jagger and Milkshake. I paused the DVR in the middle of this moment to type, and it's hysterically funny. Tyler and several of the other kids are putting on extremely excited and happy faces and... Naya has not actually announced the songs yet. Yeah, they've totally got cue cards that say "act like you just won the lottery" no matter what she actually says.
They will be students in a high school sex ed class who end up doing a boys vs. girls sexy-off. No, guys. Don't use sex as a weapon. (Pat Benatar reference. Yes, I am old.)
Zach begins the dance portion by proclaiming, "Welcome to sex ed!" And it's all about secrets, since they can't just hump each other on the desks. Zach has already figured out that Aylin is about to set up a bordello. Unfortunately, he doesn't see Shanna's natural sunniness and sweetness as sexy. He actually asks her when she wants to start trying to be sexy. For a girl who probably gets boys by the handful by being fun and sweet and likeable, this may be confusing. Ok, not everybody is a prostitute in training, Zach. She is left very confused. He wants her to be something other than what she is.
Then Zach gives Nellie some blocking that blows her mind. He wants her to lean over in a chair and arch it up. Nellie is extremely uncomfortable now. And her first attempt at arching... needs a little work.
Vocals with Nikki: Nikki wants to see confidence. She also wants to see decorum. First, Charlie blows some notes. Then he flirts at Aylin. In a week dedicated to sexuality, Charlie is going to get in trouble for making eyes at a girl who wears a banner on her chest that says "Lust after me." Nikki wants to know who he is smiling at. She deduces that he is using Aylin as inspiration. Nikki would yell at Charlie if... he weren't singing so well.
Aylin realizes that Charlie and she are now in a weird place because Nikki is now involved. They now feel awkward. I am beginning to think that, since it led to good work from Charlie and the girl involved is not feeling sexually harrassed, they should just leave them alone.
Michael and Mario are singing in the studio, and Michael really can't get the words. After several bad takes, Nikki just sends Michael away. She's just going to finish with Mario. You know, the one who can remember his lines. Michael realizes how very bad this is for him.
It's time for the video shoot, and Lily thinks her biggest competition is Aylin. Actually, Lily, I think your biggest competition is everybody more appealing and pleasant than you are. That's... everybody, including Tyler. Robert and Zach think she is working it, however.
Nellie is about to step out of her comfort zone in a big way, and she nails it. She does the sexy booty lift, she twists with Blake and she swirls, and it's all pretty convincing. She did her job.
Tyler hopes his type of sexy will come across. I think it might when he's fully male and he can comfortably establish what that is. It's going to take a year. Most transexuals, especially introverted transexuals, don't get this boot camp on their sexual confidence in the middle of the transformation. This really is kind of weird. Zach feels that Tyler is disappearing in the music video. You see, Tyler has neither charisma nor talent. The judges are, however, happy with Abraham, who became more convincing by getting rid of the fake red hair.
Charlie sings well for Naya.
Unfortunately, he does not behave well for Eric. Eric gives him direction, and Charlie argues with Eric, offering his own interpretation of the scene. Then he begins to give direction to the actress who plays the teacher in this scene, and Eric forces him to stop. Robert tells us that Charlie needs to learn what is appropriate behavior. I agree. I also urge them to remember that the ADHD and Aspergers is the gimmick that got Charlie here in the first place, and they need to realize that this is what they basically paid for. I am not saying that Charlie should be given a pass, but they need to stop clutching their pearls in horror when a kid with Asperger's Syndrome misses basic social points. That... is kind of the condition. Either fire the kid with Asperger's for making social mistakes, or recognize the condition for what it is, but don't pat yourself on the back for choosing a kid with autism on his resume and then freak out when he misses social cues. For crying out loud. Deal with it, or don't.
They show us the video. The sex ed teacher asks them to write an essy on what sex means to them. And so, they show us instead, quite overtly. Shanna flirts with Tyler... boy, that's awkward... and then we go to Aylin and Charlie, who are more convincing. Aylin makes moves on Michael. Nellie catches Blake's eye and does the arch they all wanted so much. Charlie tries to be sultry with Shanna. Then Michael goes after Shanna. For somebody so sweet and innocent, she's getting a lot of action.
Ali has both Charlie and Blake at her mercy. Screw the wheelchair. Let's do this thing. Abraham makes his sultry way toward Nellie. Tyler attempts... oh, boy. This really is not working. And with that, the sex-off begins. We get a lot of girls hanging on for dear life in the arms of the guys forced to carry them and some playful humping. Charlie ends the video by popping the teacher's behind.
It's a wrap.
Now comes the fun part. They have to choose the Bottom Three.
Nellie is given high praise, and she is the first person safe. Blake, Mario, Aylin, Abraham, Ali, and Lily are all called back.
Tyler is on the right path.. no, he's not... but he gets lost in the big group because he has absolutely no charisma at all. And little talent, too.
Michael forgot his lyrics in the booth.
Shanna is already crying, and she's making Charlie very concerned. She sobs as Zach tells her she is this glowing, happy person.. she's just not slutty enough to please them.
Charlie made the director mad because he really does not know how to behave. This is the second week in a row they have sent Charlie to the Bottom Three because he would not understand a social cue if it hit him in the face, and this is actually the disability for which they set him aside for special consideration in this overly politically correct group of people. Charlie admits he does not understand where the boundaries are.
The bottom three are Tyler, Michael, and Charlie. I wonder if these folks ever pick out a song for the person in hopes that he will fail?
Charlie admits that he stepped on people's toes unintentionally. Michael admits that he knew this was coming. Tyler is in the bottom.. again. What does this mean, this constant trip to the bottom?
I have a hard time believing that Ryan does not know what's going on with each kid when he enters. The others pretend to brief him on events he probably has already watched; Charlie tried to direct Mary Gilles, and he flirted with Aylin. Charlie sings a good, humorous rendition of "I Get a Kick Out of You." Ryan reminds him that everybody is angry at him for upsetting Eric and for behaving like a hormonal teenager in the recording studio. (Mind you, I have, with my own eyes, witnessed some very inappropriate sexual behavior from Ryan towards people who worked for him. More that one person, and more than once. This.... judgement REALLY bothered me for that reason. ) They scold him for having the hots for Aylin. Then Zach admits that Charlie was really good in his song. Ryan blisters him again, and then tells him that they will only allow him back in after this terrible, horrible behavior if they decide he is special. If the question is professionalism, I honestly think Ryan would get thrown off his own show.
Tyler does not pop enough. Ryan admits that he roots for Tyler simply because he's transgender. Unfortunately, he's beginning to accept that Tyler is boring. Tyler sings a dull and nasal version of "Smile" by Charlie Chaplin. Tyler admits that he's too nerdy and introverted.. and new at being a guy... to be good at showing sexuality. Ryan says it's hard for him to criticize anybody in the LGTB community at all for any reason whatsoever.. but he is beginning to recognize that Tyler is not talented.
Michael could not sing well in the recording studio. He absolutely stinks up the place by forgetting all the lyrics to "Lucky" by Jason Mraz. This is actually more painful to watch than Tyler's general lack of ability. Nerves have bothered him all week. Nikki notices that he's been choking all week. It's like... Rachel's NYADA story! Maybe he should stalk them, badger them and harass them until they give him another chance because he's so extra specially special, even though he completely blew it and others did much better! Fortunately, this panel already thinks he's extra specially special and they praise him up, down and sideways for not usually sucking this badly.
He's not the least talented of the three, even though he performed the least well. Zach wants him to stay. Charlie's a hot mess... yeah, that's what you hired him for, Ryan... and that's why he fascinates Ryan, who loves human train wrecks. Tyler's problem is that... he's just not ready. I don't think Tyler will ever be ready.
It absolutely kills Ryan to make the right decision here, because his biases are so weird and strong, but one of these kids is clearly very much inferior to the other two, so it has to happen... finally.
Talent actually does matter a little bit, finally. Tyler goes home... at least two and possibly three or more weeks late. He never should have been here at all; he was only cast because he was transgender, and it really wasn't a good enough reason to cast somebody in a television show. He's just not Chris Colfer, who did not become a star simply by being gay.
That wraps up The Glee Project Recap for Episode Four, Season Two: "Sexuality."
Recap for the next episode, "Adapatability"