As ever, I have found things to snark about, so here is a an extra special recap for the extra special scene that was finally released due to overwhelming public demand.
The Box Scene Recap
It is Christmas time, and we can gather from the exposition Kurt gives us that this tender moment occurs near the end of the episode. Kurt and Blaine are headed down the stairs, and Blaine wants Kurt to stop looking so glum. Oh, Blaine, you don't understand. He's contractually obligated to look sad all the time now. You get to be charming and dapper and he gets to go through life on the verge of tears. Kurt is happy for the way the Christmas Special turned out - even though it actually got canceled three quarters of the way through - and he feels happy that New Directions turned out to sing a Christmas song about grinding, desperate poverty to a group of homeless people in a shelter. Still, the holidays leave him with a sense of melancholy. Yes, lots of people feel that way, Kurt, although lately everything gives you a sense of melancholy, and it's only going to get worse as the season wears on.
Blaine teases him for bidding on the Liz Taylor Jewelry Auction, and asks him the question that everybody has been dying to know the answer to for lo these many months. How can Kurt, who is not actually a millionaire, afford his clothes? Answer: he's a bargain shopper! Maybe he buys all his designer clothing a size too big out of season. He's also a member of Rue La La. It's a real thing. Who knew? Kurt admits that getting the expensive jewelry was a fantasy. It was porn to him, and it was sooooo hot. He is saying this in a busy hallway staring directly into his boyfriend's eyes, and they are standing almost nose to nose. It's too bad Kurt doesn't like PDA, huh, Brad Falchuk?
Blaine, as ever, is the mentor - wiser, more thoughtful, more profound,
older, oh, wait, he's a Junior, and he thinks they should put aside this trivial talk of material things to discuss something more meaningful and profound. He wants them to appreciate the things that they do have: each other. Blaine has a little, tiny box with a little, tiny bow. They've taken their love to the next level.
They've lain on a bed together, fully clothed, touching noses...
"If that's an engagement ring, my answer is yes!" blurts Kurt, who will later chastise Rachel endlessly for wanting to marry Finn. He thinks Rachel and Finn, the two seniors, are too young to get married (and they are,) but he wants to marry his junior boyfriend in a state where such things are not allowed. Blaine blows off the fact that Kurt has just accepted a marriage proposal that was not offered, and has him open the box.
Kurt opens the box to see a charming little piece of origami: Blaine has taken chewing gum wrappers and fashioned them into a promise ring. That's both tacky and adorable at the same time. And he did it with so much thought - it's Wrigley's! Kurt's favorite! The ring is decorated with a little tiny bow tie. Kurt is deeply touched, but he's a little bewildered. If they aren't running off to get married during Christmas break, thereby scooping Finchel in teenage romantic idiocy by a few months, then what is the promise?
- To always love Kurt (and millions of Klainers faint with joy)
- To defend Kurt, even when he's wrong (yes, let's point out that Kurt is wrong)
- To surprise Kurt - (well, I guess the ring did that.)
- To always pick up Kurt's phone call (at least until New York looms too close and he goes ice cold)
- To bake Kurt cookies twice a year.
- To kiss Kurt wherever and whenever Kurt wants. (Yes, he's saying this in a crowded school hallway while stroking Kurt's coat, and Kurt's on cloud nine, but Kurt "does not like" PDA. Whatever.)
- And the most important thing of all: to remember how perfectly imperfect Kurt is.
Seriously. Mr. Perfect Dreamboat finishes his love speech to Kurt by mentioning how imperfect Kurt is. There are actually two minor digs at Kurt in this soliloquy, although I do not blame Blaine for that. In a vacuum, this line is fine. In the context of what happened to Kurt over the course of the year, it's very grating. Kurt.... please, don't you ever, ever feel, that you're less than, less than perfect. Didn't Blaine sing that to him once? Why is Kurt's imperfection the highlight of this declaration of love now? I am not the most rabid and angry of Kurtsies, but in a season where Blaine got everything he wanted at the snap of finger and Kurt got absolutely nothing whatsoever, this declaration rankles a little. It sounds a tad condescending, in the context of this terribly unbalanced romance. It is meant to be sweet and romantic, but it does hammer home the idea that Kurt's kind of a loser who should be unbelievably grateful that Blaine, the perfect gay man who has no faults of any kind, chose to love him despite his inferiority.
Kurt loves it. Kurt, who hates PDA, hugs Blaine passionately in a hall crowded with people. They do not kiss. Only Finchel gets to do that. Blaine promises that this is the first of many Christmases together. Five bucks say they don't make it to December 2012. Kurt's going to be in New York, and the narrative possibilities for both are too limited if they remain together.
So, what have we learned here? Is this canon, now that we've seen it? If it is:
- Kurt is a hypocrite.
- Kurt likes PDA just fine, thanks.
- We should be constantly reminded how perfectly imperfect Kurt is, and how perfectly perfect Blaine is.
And it's a shame they took this Lost Box Scene out of Extraordinary Merry Christmas because, despite my snark, I think this was actually one of the best scenes in the episode. Scene after scene of Rachel's whiny materialism ran very, very long and old after awhile. I think this Lost Box Scene would have been a much better final scene than Rachel and Finn throwing their gifts to each other away in support of an organization that discriminates against gay people.
Coming up: The Lost Bridesmaid scene, which would have made Rachel's relationship with Quinn make much more sense. Thanks to Gail and Demi for letting me know about this video channel from Ryan Murphy.